Painting of our old home by our daughter, Lindsay Rotella
💡for more information on FTD & to find support, visit www.theaftd.org
When Chuck was diagnosed with frontotemporal degeneration (FTD) in 2023, our world shifted. It wasn’t just the emotional weight of the diagnosis—it was the sudden awareness that everything about our life and lifestyle, our routines, and even our house needed to change. Deciding to sell our two-story home of over 33 years and move into a smaller, one-level house was a decision driven by love, safety, and practicality.
Why I Chose to Downsize
Our old home held decades of memories— raising our children, homework and art work, birthdays, kids’s sleepovers, holidays, late-night talks, crackling fires and lazy mornings with coffee.
It also held was stairs, lots of them. A full set of stone steps up to the entrance, more stairs to the second level, stairs from the garage into the house, stairs up to the back deck. There were tight turns upstairs, narrow doorways, and a layout that no longer suited our needs. There was no first floor primary suite, but there was a formal living and dining space we rarely ever used!
As Chuck’s FTD progressed, I could see that navigating that house would only grow more difficult for us and dangerous for him. He was recovered physically from a stroke in November but cognitively declining, getting slower and weaker. He was no longer able to help maintain this house. We needed a change, fast.
I wanted a space where he could move around safely and comfortably, and where I could care for him with less physical and emotional strain.
The Gift of Preparedness: A Durable Power of Attorney
One thing that made the financial transactions and the transition much smoother was the durable power of attorney (DPOA). We had a DPOA created and in place early—right after Chuck’s diagnosis. The document gave me agency to make financial and legal decisions once the dementia progressed and he no longer had capacity to do so.
Having the DPOA meant I could make decisions on Chuck’s behalf without unnecessary roadblocks. I could list our home, sign documents, manage proceeds, and purchase our new place, signing on his behalf using the DPOA—all without having to petition the courts or prove decision-making authority.
That piece of paper became a quiet but powerful ally during a time filled with uncertainty. I encourage anyone facing a dementia diagnosis with a loved one to make it a priority. In addition, I challenge everyone regardless of age or health status to make these documents a priority, along with your living will and medical power of attorney. You never know when the need for a DPOA may suddenly present itself.
A DPOA is not just about managing a home sale, bank accounts or assets—it is about maintaining dignity, reducing stress, and staying focused on what matters most: caring for your person. I was able to buy and sell a house without him being required to sign a thing.
A New Chapter
Letting go of our long-time home wasn’t easy. It felt like saying goodbye to a version of life that I cherished deeply. So many memories of our children and grandchildren are in that house. But those memories are also in my heart. Selling the house became an act of love and adaptation—choosing what’s best for our new reality rather than clinging to the past. Our 6 kids (that includes our son-in-laws!) and family helped us with the move, and they continue to help take care of us. I am filled, and over flowing, with gratitude for them!
I knew it would be hard for Chuck and so far we are seeing some increased agitation and confusion in this unfamiliar house, but overall he is adapting with help. He remains that solid, stoic guy with killer one-liners.
Our new, smaller, one-level house is a true blessing. The fact that the house remained on the market, until I finally went to see it, is astounding. This home will be easier to manage, is more accessible, and is infinitely more aligned with the simplicity and peace I now crave and prioritize. It is smaller, but it isn’t about square footage—it is about quality of life. A quality of life for both of us. It is exactly the home we need.
Today, with a smaller home, there’s a different kind of peace. Less stuff, less home maintenance, fewer bedrooms and fewer stairs… but also fewer worries. And that’s something no square footage can measure.
If you’re on this journey, know this: change isn't easy, but it can be healing. Making big changes due to an illness can have positive outcomes. Being prepared—legally, emotionally, and practically—makes all the difference.
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